Prologue

Life is so unpredictable.

I used to take this quote very lightly whenever someone said it. I always wondered how someone’s life could change so drastically — how everything could be perfectly fine one moment, and then suddenly start falling apart.

But now… I finally understand.

A few days ago, my life was completely normal. My college life, my social life, my personal life — everything was going fine.

But right now…

I don’t know what to say anymore.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to handle this sudden change in my life.

Yesterday, I lost the most important person in my life.

The only person who was the reason behind my carefree and happy existence.

Yesterday… I lost my mom.

She was always there whenever I was in trouble or whenever I needed something. In every difficult situation, she appeared like an angel.

My angel.

We only had each other.

We were more like best friends than mother and daughter.

For me, it was always her.

And for her, it was always me.

But now my best friend has left me alone in this cruel world.

I am Siara, and I am currently seventeen years old.

When I was twelve, my mom was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer. At that time, her condition wasn’t very serious, so the doctors were hopeful about her treatment.

Her treatment continued for almost two years.

During those two years, Mom sent me to India to live with my grandparents because her treatment required constant hospital visits, and she wasn’t able to take proper care of me.

I reluctantly agreed to her decision because I didn’t want to leave her alone in that condition.

You can call me selfish, but honestly… those two years were some of the best years of my life.

My grandparents loved me dearly and treated me with so much warmth.

Well… maybe those happy memories are stories for another time.

After two years, when my mom was finally declared cancer-free, I returned to live with her again.

But when I turned fifteen, Mom gave me the worst news imaginable.

My grandparents had passed away in a car accident.

I was devastated for an entire month because they were the only family I had besides my mother.

And Mom’s condition was no better than mine.

After all, they were her parents.

She blamed herself constantly because she wasn’t there during their final moments.

Still, somehow, we managed to support each other and slowly move forward from our grief.

But I guess God never wanted our lives to be simple.

Six months ago, Mom’s cancer returned.

And this time… it was far more aggressive.

Day by day, she started losing weight, losing her hair, losing the shine from her beautiful face.

It broke me to watch her become so weak.

During that time, I had no one.

Sure, I had a few so-called friends, but they only appeared in my life whenever they needed something from me.

Snakes.

Even then, a small part of me still believed that everything would go back to normal someday.

That Mom would recover again.

That we would finally live a peaceful and happy life.

But I guess fate had different plans for me.

Yesterday… she took her last breath.

I was there beside her, watching the helplessness in her eyes.

I assured her that I would be okay… that I would manage everything because I was her brave daughter.

I didn’t let my tears fall in front of her.

I didn’t want her to see how broken I truly was.

Even though I looked strong on the outside, I was dying inside.

I wanted to scream.

I wanted to cry.

I wanted to ask the universe—

Why me?

Right now, I’m sitting in front of her portrait at her funeral.

I think everyone who came has already left.

My neighbor tried to convince me to go home with them, but I refused.

Because now… I have no home.

My home existed wherever my mom was.

And now she’s gone.

I still haven’t let a single tear escape my eyes because I promised Mom that I would stay strong.

I promised her that I would survive.

Before leaving, she made sure to leave enough money for my education and survival through my teenage years.

So I thought everything would somehow be manageable.

But oh boy… how wrong I was.

Because this was only the beginning.